About feeling as failure

Last week I was about to write a post related to pain when you’re holding on things too long, which was resonates well with what happened to me last week.

What really happened was I didn’t write it. I was having cramps and made me didn’t feel like want to do anything.

Earlier this week I had situation with my foster cat. He started acting up (meowing at night) which hasn’t been done for months.

I might have short fuse last week, so I decided to punish him by making him serving “jail” time awhile longer.

However it seemed backfired. Instead of repentant, he even meowed louder. As if it’s back to the days when I fostered him first time.

Furious? Yes. His meowing is very disruptive to my cats and myself at night. I just prayed that none of my neighbor heard that. Because the last thing I want to avoid is, someone reported me cos noise pollution and put my kids in danger.

Then I go down a rabbit hole trying to analyze what-ifs.

What if sending him to stay in cattery is going to make him devolve? What will happened to him as his move in date is nearing in 2 weeks time.

What if I just accommodate him? Won’t it make him think that he can get away with anything if he screamed on top of his lung to get what he wants. My guess is he want to roam whole house at night as how he is during the day.

What if by accommodating, his adopter will have hard time in managing him and decided to return him.

Oh well.. like Ajahn Brahm said, all suffering is your teacher in life. Maybe I should just learn from this encounter and be better next time.

Anyway.. here is the pic of my foster cat as tax

Mr. Popo