Category: attitude

anything that helps kartika angkawijaya during hard times, inspires or motivate her to go through those times

Why Some People’s “Excited Sharing” Secretly Irritates Us

woman talking on the telephone

Recently, I realised I kept feeling oddly irritated whenever a friend excitedly shared her learning journey in a group chat. In this case, she had just started learning something I had learned few years back. She kept sharing discoveries, thoughts, and updates with enthusiasm. Objectively, nothing was wrong. But internally, I kept thinking:“Why does this feel so extra?” Then came the guilt:“Am I being mean?”“Am I jealous?”“Am I cold?” The deeper I analysed myself, the more uncomfortable I became. After […]

When Your Brain Keeps Running “What If” Scenarios Nonstop

Cluster of glowing question marks intertwined in a spherical shape

A late-night reflection with ChatGPT turned into this post because recently, I realised my brain has been constantly branching into “what if” scenarios. Not only for major life decisions. Even small things became mentally exhausting. Examples: Every situation seemed to split into multiple possible outcomes. And before I could even complete one task, my brain already started simulating: At one point, even resting felt difficult because my brain refused to stop anticipating. How This Usually Starts At first, anticipatory thinking […]

Hello September

Crossroads on the way to Llanover

It’s been a long while.. since last entry to the blog site. I know, I told myself that I want to go back to blogging regularly, but somehow this and that are preventing me to go back to something I enjoy in the past. It’s been awhile that I sit down and have a chat with my mind. Let’s start with what happened recently. First, on role being made redundant in June. I wasn’t expecting this at all. I was […]

Happy New Year 2024

I know, it’s way way late for this. There had been some internal monologue happened offline. To post or not to post. My brain brought me to a rabbit hole of thinking why is this and why is that. It’s constant internal struggle. Sometimes I also wonder why. I didn’t have such a struggle last time. I can channel my thought without any issues. There was a period of time when you feel “alone”. Because you and your friends are […]

About overwhelmed

aerial photo of city street and buildings

It’s time for the (work) mid year review.. (oh no) That’s what I feel this week. I did my homework, preparing about things to discuss with boss. I was quite confident that I’m okay this time. But I wasn’t. Again I was humbled. That after the session I went spiral down that I’m not good enough, my justification was seen as excuse, why I can’t meet certain goal up to this year. Tried to voice out, but feels just slammed […]

About taking test

acting action actor actress

Surgeons are put through rigorous tests just to get in the game. We endure decades of anxiety-provoking acronyms. SAT. MCAT. USMLE. ABSITE. And if we pass that gauntlet, we are rewarded with the need to log 850 surgeries and take an 8-hour multiple choice and oral exam. There is almost no time to take in the victory. Or even a nap. Researchers studied why some people perform better on tests. They found that it’s not necessarily related to intelligence. Some […]

About Humility

group of friends resting on rocky coast

How good are you in …  Was one of the most memorable question asked to me this week. During chat with a friend around strength and weakness, she noticed that I diverted to say what is my strength, so she asked why it was so hard for me to say it. I replied my friend that because I don’t think I’m good enough, as there is someone better than me. And maybe it’s the upbringing thing that made me can’t […]

Hello 2022

It’s been awhile I haven’t been blogging here. But this year I’m planning to be more regularly back to this space. I don’t like to rant usually. But let’s take it this time is special come back 🤣 Sometimes it’s irritating when you’re sharing your thought process about your finding and the other party just say that I’m anyhow and saying it with condescending vibe that I’m such a failure When you’re doing analysis there are many ways If I […]