When Helping Others Starts Turning Into Quiet Resentment

the word think on a pin board

For a long time, I thought my frustration toward certain people meant: Especially when I reacted internally to situations like: Part of me kept wondering:“Am I becoming cold?” But after reflecting more deeply, I realised the issue was not lack of empathy. The real issue was exhaustion from carrying too much. The Pattern I Started Noticing I realised I naturally become: Especially in: Because I tend to: Over time, people like this often quietly become the “buffer” in a group. […]

When You Outgrow Your Environment But Still Fear Becoming Arrogant

wooden blocks spelling challenge concept

One uncomfortable realisation I had recently:I no longer work or learn the same way as many people around me. At first, I thought I was simply becoming impatient. But after reflecting deeper, I realised the feeling was more complicated than that. It was not:“I think I’m smarter than everyone.” In fact, I fear becoming that person. The real discomfort came from feeling: That contradiction created more emotional tension than I expected. The Trigger Started From Group Work The situation itself […]

What ChatGPT Observed About Me After Hours Of Conversations

portrait of man with stack of hats

At one point, I asked ChatGPT a simple question: “What have you learned about me from all these conversations?” What came back was not a personality test result or motivational quote. It was more like reading a behavioural reflection written by a neutral coach who had been observing recurring patterns over time. Some parts felt accurate immediately.Some parts made me uncomfortable.Some parts explained behaviours I had never fully connected before. This post is not about whether AI “knows” someone deeply. […]

When Friendship, Values, And Animal Ethics Stop Aligning

balanced rock stack near railway tracks outdoors

I used to think disappointment in friendships mostly came from obvious betrayal or conflict. But sometimes, the discomfort comes quietly. You slowly notice that someone you thought shared similar values actually operates very differently than you do. Not necessarily wrong. Just different in ways that create emotional friction. A friend became close to someone whose views about pedigree cats and sourcing I strongly disagreed with. Objectively, this should not have affected me that much. But internally, I kept circling around […]

Why Some People’s “Excited Sharing” Secretly Irritates Us

woman talking on the telephone

Recently, I realised I kept feeling oddly irritated whenever a friend excitedly shared her learning journey in a group chat. In this case, she had just started learning something I had learned few years back. She kept sharing discoveries, thoughts, and updates with enthusiasm. Objectively, nothing was wrong. But internally, I kept thinking:“Why does this feel so extra?” Then came the guilt:“Am I being mean?”“Am I jealous?”“Am I cold?” The deeper I analysed myself, the more uncomfortable I became. After […]

When Your Brain Keeps Running “What If” Scenarios Nonstop

Cluster of glowing question marks intertwined in a spherical shape

A late-night reflection with ChatGPT turned into this post because recently, I realised my brain has been constantly branching into “what if” scenarios. Not only for major life decisions. Even small things became mentally exhausting. Examples: Every situation seemed to split into multiple possible outcomes. And before I could even complete one task, my brain already started simulating: At one point, even resting felt difficult because my brain refused to stop anticipating. How This Usually Starts At first, anticipatory thinking […]

Not Every Ask Deserves Your Energy

scrabble tiles on white surface

The other intrusive thought this week came after my encounter with a cat feeder in my area. She was upset because one of the community cats she feeds looked sick and weak. She told me and another rep from a welfare group that she felt depressed because of this. She then insisted we need to help the cat and conveniently shifted the responsibility to us. She said she did not know how to bring the cat to a clinic. She […]

Why school reunion is overrated

photo of four girls wearing school uniform doing hand signs

This week I’ve been trying to unpack my intrusive thoughts about the upcoming reunion. To be honest, I feel more chore than joy. My high school years never felt like a space where I belonged. The clearest example was the religion teacher who doubled as the student organization’s counselor. He openly said the organization would only accept students from religion ABC. Other religions were out. I was shortlisted as a representative for my class, but in the end I wasn’t […]