When Friendship, Values, And Animal Ethics Stop Aligning

balanced rock stack near railway tracks outdoors

I used to think disappointment in friendships mostly came from obvious betrayal or conflict. But sometimes, the discomfort comes quietly. You slowly notice that someone you thought shared similar values actually operates very differently than you do. Not necessarily wrong. Just different in ways that create emotional friction. A friend became close to someone whose views about pedigree cats and sourcing I strongly disagreed with. Objectively, this should not have affected me that much. But internally, I kept circling around […]

Why Some People’s “Excited Sharing” Secretly Irritates Us

woman talking on the telephone

Recently, I realised I kept feeling oddly irritated whenever a friend excitedly shared her learning journey in a group chat. In this case, she had just started learning something I had learned few years back. She kept sharing discoveries, thoughts, and updates with enthusiasm. Objectively, nothing was wrong. But internally, I kept thinking:“Why does this feel so extra?” Then came the guilt:“Am I being mean?”“Am I jealous?”“Am I cold?” The deeper I analysed myself, the more uncomfortable I became. After […]

When Your Brain Keeps Running “What If” Scenarios Nonstop

Cluster of glowing question marks intertwined in a spherical shape

A late-night reflection with ChatGPT turned into this post because recently, I realised my brain has been constantly branching into “what if” scenarios. Not only for major life decisions. Even small things became mentally exhausting. Examples: Every situation seemed to split into multiple possible outcomes. And before I could even complete one task, my brain already started simulating: At one point, even resting felt difficult because my brain refused to stop anticipating. How This Usually Starts At first, anticipatory thinking […]

Not Every Ask Deserves Your Energy

scrabble tiles on white surface

The other intrusive thought this week came after my encounter with a cat feeder in my area. She was upset because one of the community cats she feeds looked sick and weak. She told me and another rep from a welfare group that she felt depressed because of this. She then insisted we need to help the cat and conveniently shifted the responsibility to us. She said she did not know how to bring the cat to a clinic. She […]

Why school reunion is overrated

photo of four girls wearing school uniform doing hand signs

This week I’ve been trying to unpack my intrusive thoughts about the upcoming reunion. To be honest, I feel more chore than joy. My high school years never felt like a space where I belonged. The clearest example was the religion teacher who doubled as the student organization’s counselor. He openly said the organization would only accept students from religion ABC. Other religions were out. I was shortlisted as a representative for my class, but in the end I wasn’t […]

Feeling stuck

misted window with question mark

I’m not sure if people around my age are experiencing this, but here I am. The feeling that I’m stuck or don’t feel motivated to do anything is kinda lingering a little bit longer this time. I had few moments of “spikes” where I feel a little more motivated or gaining my “let’s do it” spirit, but often times it went flat again. Don’t laugh at me, but lately i’ve been using my situation for learning how to use ChatGPT […]

Finding Meaning in Everyday Encounters: A Personal Story

photo of people holding silver cup

Without realising, year changed and I’m still struggling to be back to blog regularly despite I have many thoughts from time to time. I’ll be back to that topic in a bit. The reason I feel want to go back to write because yesterday I had interesting convo with one of my neighbors. A while ago, I bumped to an uncle who stood by a tree and looked up searching for something when I was on the way to buy […]

Hello September

Crossroads on the way to Llanover

It’s been a long while.. since last entry to the blog site. I know, I told myself that I want to go back to blogging regularly, but somehow this and that are preventing me to go back to something I enjoy in the past. It’s been awhile that I sit down and have a chat with my mind. Let’s start with what happened recently. First, on role being made redundant in June. I wasn’t expecting this at all. I was […]