Tag: reflection

Accountability, Guilt, and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

blue sticky note with facts or fears text

A recent cat show made me realize something about myself. My friend, who was supposed to join me, couldn’t make it again due to work. It wasn’t the first time. I felt disappointed. At the same time, I found myself questioning whether I should continue showing Conan. Part of me wondered if I was being selfish. Conan is not the strongest show cat in the ring. He may eventually achieve his Grand title, but the journey will likely be long. […]

AI, Attention Span, And The Fear Of Losing Depth

portrait of a woman with her hands on her head

One thing I kept questioning recently was: “Am I becoming worse at focusing because of AI?” I noticed my brain no longer processes thoughts the same way it used to. Previously, I could: Now my mind feels more: One thought quickly becomes: At times, it almost feels impossible to sit still mentally. Why Chat-Based Reflection Started Helping One thing I realised:my brain no longer enjoys processing in isolation the same way. Instead of: I now process better through: Talking through […]

When Helping Others Starts Turning Into Quiet Resentment

the word think on a pin board

For a long time, I thought my frustration toward certain people meant: Especially when I reacted internally to situations like: Part of me kept wondering:“Am I becoming cold?” But after reflecting more deeply, I realised the issue was not lack of empathy. The real issue was exhaustion from carrying too much. The Pattern I Started Noticing I realised I naturally become: Especially in: Because I tend to: Over time, people like this often quietly become the “buffer” in a group. […]

When You Outgrow Your Environment But Still Fear Becoming Arrogant

wooden blocks spelling challenge concept

One uncomfortable realisation I had recently:I no longer work or learn the same way as many people around me. At first, I thought I was simply becoming impatient. But after reflecting deeper, I realised the feeling was more complicated than that. It was not:“I think I’m smarter than everyone.” In fact, I fear becoming that person. The real discomfort came from feeling: That contradiction created more emotional tension than I expected. The Trigger Started From Group Work The situation itself […]

Happy New Year 2024

I know, it’s way way late for this. There had been some internal monologue happened offline. To post or not to post. My brain brought me to a rabbit hole of thinking why is this and why is that. It’s constant internal struggle. Sometimes I also wonder why. I didn’t have such a struggle last time. I can channel my thought without any issues. There was a period of time when you feel “alone”. Because you and your friends are […]

About feeling as failure

Mr Popo

Last week I was about to write a post related to pain when you’re holding on things too long, which was resonates well with what happened to me last week. What really happened was I didn’t write it. I was having cramps and made me didn’t feel like want to do anything. Earlier this week I had situation with my foster cat. He started acting up (meowing at night) which hasn’t been done for months. I might have short fuse […]

Week 2 entry in 2023

I’m paying my panic in advance. I have a team event this week on Tue and Wed, and we need to arrive at the venue 9am sharp. It’s really stressful. I’m not used to 9am office time anymore after the last 3 years, having calls in the evening and all. Legit, I had been panicking since the weekend before the week started. Some said panic or worry about takes the joy in the present. But I just can’t help it. […]

Overthinking

In my line of work as project manager, I’m used to make worst case scenario because when running a project, we need to be prepared. So my brain usually will think few if-then-else scenarios and prepare some contingencies when certain events happened. However, it also makes my heart panic from low key panic to really panic. No matter how prepared I am. That makes me thinking, does it have any relation between as we grow older, we will have low […]