Tag: lesson from life

When Friendship, Values, And Animal Ethics Stop Aligning

balanced rock stack near railway tracks outdoors

I used to think disappointment in friendships mostly came from obvious betrayal or conflict. But sometimes, the discomfort comes quietly. You slowly notice that someone you thought shared similar values actually operates very differently than you do. Not necessarily wrong. Just different in ways that create emotional friction. A friend became close to someone whose views about pedigree cats and sourcing I strongly disagreed with. Objectively, this should not have affected me that much. But internally, I kept circling around […]

Why Some People’s “Excited Sharing” Secretly Irritates Us

woman talking on the telephone

Recently, I realised I kept feeling oddly irritated whenever a friend excitedly shared her learning journey in a group chat. In this case, she had just started learning something I had learned few years back. She kept sharing discoveries, thoughts, and updates with enthusiasm. Objectively, nothing was wrong. But internally, I kept thinking:“Why does this feel so extra?” Then came the guilt:“Am I being mean?”“Am I jealous?”“Am I cold?” The deeper I analysed myself, the more uncomfortable I became. After […]

When Your Brain Keeps Running “What If” Scenarios Nonstop

Cluster of glowing question marks intertwined in a spherical shape

A late-night reflection with ChatGPT turned into this post because recently, I realised my brain has been constantly branching into “what if” scenarios. Not only for major life decisions. Even small things became mentally exhausting. Examples: Every situation seemed to split into multiple possible outcomes. And before I could even complete one task, my brain already started simulating: At one point, even resting felt difficult because my brain refused to stop anticipating. How This Usually Starts At first, anticipatory thinking […]

Feeling stuck

misted window with question mark

I’m not sure if people around my age are experiencing this, but here I am. The feeling that I’m stuck or don’t feel motivated to do anything is kinda lingering a little bit longer this time. I had few moments of “spikes” where I feel a little more motivated or gaining my “let’s do it” spirit, but often times it went flat again. Don’t laugh at me, but lately i’ve been using my situation for learning how to use ChatGPT […]

Hello September

Crossroads on the way to Llanover

It’s been a long while.. since last entry to the blog site. I know, I told myself that I want to go back to blogging regularly, but somehow this and that are preventing me to go back to something I enjoy in the past. It’s been awhile that I sit down and have a chat with my mind. Let’s start with what happened recently. First, on role being made redundant in June. I wasn’t expecting this at all. I was […]

Happy New Year 2024

I know, it’s way way late for this. There had been some internal monologue happened offline. To post or not to post. My brain brought me to a rabbit hole of thinking why is this and why is that. It’s constant internal struggle. Sometimes I also wonder why. I didn’t have such a struggle last time. I can channel my thought without any issues. There was a period of time when you feel “alone”. Because you and your friends are […]

About feeling as failure

Mr Popo

Last week I was about to write a post related to pain when you’re holding on things too long, which was resonates well with what happened to me last week. What really happened was I didn’t write it. I was having cramps and made me didn’t feel like want to do anything. Earlier this week I had situation with my foster cat. He started acting up (meowing at night) which hasn’t been done for months. I might have short fuse […]

About overwhelmed

aerial photo of city street and buildings

It’s time for the (work) mid year review.. (oh no) That’s what I feel this week. I did my homework, preparing about things to discuss with boss. I was quite confident that I’m okay this time. But I wasn’t. Again I was humbled. That after the session I went spiral down that I’m not good enough, my justification was seen as excuse, why I can’t meet certain goal up to this year. Tried to voice out, but feels just slammed […]