Happy New Year 2024

I know, it’s way way late for this. There had been some internal monologue happened offline. To post or not to post. My brain brought me to a rabbit hole of thinking why is this and why is that. It’s constant internal struggle. Sometimes I also wonder why. I didn’t have such a struggle last time. I can channel my thought without any issues. There was a period of time when you feel “alone”. Because you and your friends are […]

About feeling as failure

Last week I was about to write a post related to pain when you’re holding on things too long, which was resonates well with what happened to me last week. What really happened was I didn’t write it. I was having cramps and made me didn’t feel like want to do anything. Earlier this week I had situation with my foster cat. He started acting up (meowing at night) which hasn’t been done for months. I might have short fuse […]

About overwhelmed

It’s time for the (work) mid year review.. (oh no) That’s what I feel this week. I did my homework, preparing about things to discuss with boss. I was quite confident that I’m okay this time. But I wasn’t. Again I was humbled. That after the session I went spiral down that I’m not good enough, my justification was seen as excuse, why I can’t meet certain goal up to this year. Tried to voice out, but feels just slammed […]

About taking test

Surgeons are put through rigorous tests just to get in the game. We endure decades of anxiety-provoking acronyms. SAT. MCAT. USMLE. ABSITE. And if we pass that gauntlet, we are rewarded with the need to log 850 surgeries and take an 8-hour multiple choice and oral exam. There is almost no time to take in the victory. Or even a nap. Researchers studied why some people perform better on tests. They found that it’s not necessarily related to intelligence. Some […]

About Humility

How good are you in …  Was one of the most memorable question asked to me this week. During chat with a friend around strength and weakness, she noticed that I diverted to say what is my strength, so she asked why it was so hard for me to say it. I replied my friend that because I don’t think I’m good enough, as there is someone better than me. And maybe it’s the upbringing thing that made me can’t […]

Week 10 entry in 2023

New change doesn’t necessarily means a better change.That’s what I feel lately.I miss the old wordpress where it doesn’t have blocks, where it’s just paragraph. Maybe it’s just me feeling sentimental about oldies as currently Tiktok FYP is full of 90s boybands making comeback. Did you know that Spice Girls was 25 years ago? Gosh~ Had a catch up this weekend with friends who is going to go back to US as company is pulling expats to go back to […]

Week 2 entry in 2023

I’m paying my panic in advance. I have a team event this week on Tue and Wed, and we need to arrive at the venue 9am sharp. It’s really stressful. I’m not used to 9am office time anymore after the last 3 years, having calls in the evening and all. Legit, I had been panicking since the weekend before the week started. Some said panic or worry about takes the joy in the present. But I just can’t help it. […]

Hello 2023

Happy New Year! It’s been awhile I didn’t update this space, while there were so many things had happened or came across in 2022. Somehow I was having a phase where I had a short self talk and decided to dismiss it. I was contemplating whether I should let my thought ramble to have some digital presence or should I just kept it to myself or perhaps just shared it with close friends.Not sure if it’s the age thing which […]