Learning my lesson – keeping my ego at the bay

Lately, I was so stressed, I didn’t know what made me stress  and I was quite desperate to find out what made me stress.

Is it my work load? Work has been busy as always, writing code, designing system, debugging and testing, you name it. But I believe that I’m still coping it.

Is it my schedule? I schedule myself to exercise on even days, Tue-Thurs-Sat. It was just started for the last three weeks. Is the schedule too rush for me? I don’t think so. When I tried to skip the exercise part, I feel that my whole body was even more tired.

Is it my hobbies? I admit that I like to play games more often than I used to be. I play games on the browser as well as on iPhone. But, it seems this habit happened because I was so desperate to find out what made me feel stress.

This morning, I wake up at slightly earlier than usual. I’m paying more attention on my daily activities, starting from waking up, taking shower, having breakfast and going to work earlier. At office, I took out the files I’m about to work on today but before that, I do some morning reading from my twitter list, some forums I followed and digg.

I found a very interesting article (I put the interesting links below of this post). The article made me think and reflect about what happened to me; I felt that it was the main cause. So, I’d like to share my stories to you as well as for my personal note.

Let’s say that as a kid, you have a new toy to play with, then somebody want to play your toy. What would you do? Would you play together? Or, would you say no?

I believe that everyone has different answers. And, my honest answer when I was a kid is, I don’t want to share the toy (maybe you find it selfish). I have my reasons:  I find myself as persistently stubborn (to a certain degree) explorer. Until I’m satisfied with it, I usually don’t want to share it with others. Once I’m done with it, I don’t mind to play together.

Another case, let’s switch the person. Your friend has something that you want. You want to play together with your friend and your friend rejects you. What would you do? Will you let that go? Or persistently annoy your friend till both of you play together? Or ask your parents to get it for you?

My parents raised me well, and not pampered me with toys. So, it applies to me when those scenario happens; I will wait. Either for my friend to ask me to play together or for my parents to buy me toys (which is not so likely) while I’m playing with my current toys. Sometimes, I will throw tantrum to get what I want and most of the times, it didn’t work. The more I struggle for something, the higher chance I will not get it.

Similar situations happened to me recently, someone has “the toy” I want, and I was fighting to get it. I like “the toy” so much. I just want it for myself. That’s what made me stress, because I struggle for it and I can’t get it somehow.

This made me learn a lot:

  1. To acknowledge the stress and not fighting the stress, listening to yourself is somewhat soothing.
  2. To be happy when someone else happy, rather than stress out so that at least more than one person is happy.
  3. To dream about it still, because we will not know when the chances are coming to us.
  4. To let my ego somewhere else. Although it’s your life, it’s not always about you; there are others around us unless you’re a hermit. 🙂

Lastly, below are some interesting articles and video I found this week:

  1. http://www.copyblogger.com/writing-and-ego/
  2. http://www.copyblogger.com/a-list-blogger/
  3. http://www.vimeo.com/8224953
  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEqdr_Awdak

I hope that you enjoy the post. 🙂

  • sin

    I think what we can do is to focus our energy to get “our own toys”, rather than “the others’ toys”.

    Paying attention to “the others’ toys” won’t increase our chances to get “our own toys” anyway.

    • I’m agree with it.
      Sometimes it’s testing us to certain extent when we saw someone get the toys, or to put it simple what we called as envy?
      Then the question is how bad we want it? Whether we just give up trying or keep focusing on it? :p

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