Growing a relationship

I want to be the person who when I look back, I can tell myself “oh yeah, I did that in the past.”

There was an issue has been bugging me for months recently. It will be easier if I can say it out loud to the person I’m having the issue with when it’s not as complicated as it is. However, as an adult, I think it’s not wise either to just saying “I don’t like this from you”. So, looking for the solution which works for both of us made me think a lot.

I spoke to several people about it. Asking them how I should move on from this. Some of them said that don’t ever need to try it because I tried it in the past and it didn’t work. That’s the time to move on. They said.

Some said, it all depends on me how I want the future looks like. If I think it’s worth fighting, then fight for it. The means doesn’t matter.

A friend said, sometimes we need to be patient because the solution will come out by itself. My mind was focusing too much on the issue and I decided to follow the advice, to relax a little. I told myself, you did a good job by doing all the prep work: spot the issue, think about the solution but not yet found, consult to friends, etc. Another friend’s term is trying to detach ourselves, emotionally, from it.

Surprisingly, when you detach yourself emotionally, compassion or kindness will appear. It makes us calm. Like what they say, the solution will come out. Indeed.

I spoke to my friend about it. My friend acknowledge my thought. And I’m looking forward to work better with my friend in the future.

The take away point from this is. I keep forgetting that regardless when and where I go, there is always a challenge for me. Maybe it’s not the challenge I’m looking for. However it’s a must to go through it. Think running from it as the very last resort, when things aren’t working. The analogy of this is, when you play RPG game, there are some mini missions available, help a NPC do this or that. It usually doesn’t have much experience, but it will give you some items to help you move forward.

PS: looking back to my university year when I had most activities throughout the year, right now I can only remember it that I had a great time with my friends. Although I know that time, I had some disagreements or fought with my team mates, or friends when we were working on projects or working together as committee.

PPS: one more thing, I have a belief that the more you fight with your someone, the closer your relation will be. But don’t just fight without resolving it. Because fighting alone will just make the relation worse. Fight and resolve it, shape each other, understand each other better. Although, fighting is not necessary, if you’re a peace lover like my friend, but sometime it’s unavoidable.