Untitled (Pt. 2)

continuing from previous post..

I went back to my hometown for celebrating Lunar New Year with my family on 3rd week of Jan and the holiday is going to end soon. I will be back to Singapore tomorrow and will be back to work on Thursday.

Mostly I spent my times with my family (of course) and my friends in between. It brings all the memory that we had at school back. We had been graduated 8 years ago and a lot of things happened in between. Marriage, children, change jobs, move house and many more. And yet, I still feel the same fighting spirit and despite that most of us have left our hometown yet we still have the same thinking.

I used to wonder that we used to be able to work well as a team but somehow we are at our best when we are not in the same team. I used guess that maybe our characteristics are too similar to each other so we have those fights. Now, I have different answer. I guess, our task is to keep challenge each other to make other places to be a better place too. It’s a form of rivalry to make the place we are at, to be better than before; so that when we meet each other again, we can share story about our adventure.

I found the answer why I was so bored lately which leads to do things that I didn’t do usually. It was rivalry.

I was in the social media thing by myself. I was blogging by myself. And I was also sitting in my comfort zone at office too. Basically, I was living in a peace environment. It’s too plain for me; therefore it hit me in the end. Strange huh? I’m stress because of peace. Not to mention that I was listening to my friends too much until the extent that I lose myself just to make myself agreeable with their opinion or to avoid arguments. And sometimes, I just mellowed to give up my dreams and just to follow the stream.

In a way, rivalry can be a bad thing. But, the other side of it is, it makes us excited to be a better person to be able to surpass our rival. I realize that because of “Bakuman” (and that’s the reason why I like shonen manga more). Or like what Steve Jobs used to say, the feeling of becoming newbie again is exciting.

Oh well, I think maybe because that’s what youth about. Like a saying the older the person is, the more they want to avoid conflicts and unconsciously I live like that too. When I want something and my friends said the opposite, it dampens my spirit and in the end I decided to let it go. So in the end, I ended up in the middle of nowhere.

So, I’m challenging myself this year, that I will be more like myself (I should listen to Linkin Park – Numb more). To be comfortable with who I am, I don’t need to be all out when meeting friends but as it goes, if it’s a true friends we will understand each other and more importantly, accept each other.

Second challenge is, to be honest about my feelings. If I have doubts, I will clarify with the respective party. Just be straight forward.

Third challenge is, to use my time wisely. I want to pass my JLPT this year. I also need to exercise regularly. And to build up my reputation as web developer, if it’s my true passion.

Fourth challenge is, to give it all. When I have decided on it, I must do it with all my might, even if it will disturb the balance for a while. It’s normal to have the ups and downs but remember the goals. (or maybe I should re-read “Bakuman” comic again)

I promise myself those. As I’m going to end this post, I have a question for you. Have you set your goals? 🙂

PS: I decided to separate it because it’s too long to be read as one post.

  • Pingback: Untitled (Pt. 1) | kartika9 • blogs()

  • Billy Dj

    Lol, I think I miss the rivalry too… Idk why, but after a year in my company everything becoming so dull right now since there are no one who can motivate me more in competing with me. I feel that I’ve done my best since there’re no one who can beat me in doing the IT job in my company now… Damn, I really miss the newbie feeling too hahaha.

    • Kartika Angkawijaya

      Well, now you know it’s not only you feel like that. 
      I feel something is lacking without good rival and I realise one thing recently that I dare to venture out or try something different just for the sake of having a rival. 
      The bad thing is, I’m not focused. I may do things that actually I don’t really like. But, the good thing is, I learn a lot of different things and I prove to myself that I can pass another challenge. 
      And who knows that one day, those will become the dots that I’ll connect to in the future. 

      So, let’s keep challenge ourselves to be better. Find a good rival and produce things better 🙂

  • Billy Dj

    Lol, I think I miss the rivalry too… Idk why, but after a year in my company everything becoming so dull right now since there are no one who can motivate me more in competing with me. I feel that I’ve done my best since there’re no one who can beat me in doing the IT job in my company now… Damn, I really miss the newbie feeling too hahaha.

    • Kartika Angkawijaya

      Well, now you know it’s not only you feel like that. 
      I feel something is lacking without good rival and I realise one thing recently that I dare to venture out or try something different just for the sake of having a rival. 
      The bad thing is, I’m not focused. I may do things that actually I don’t really like. But, the good thing is, I learn a lot of different things and I prove to myself that I can pass another challenge. 
      And who knows that one day, those will become the dots that I’ll connect to in the future. 

      So, let’s keep challenge ourselves to be better. Find a good rival and produce things better 🙂