Learning about priority…

I was absent writing for three days and within that span, I faced one of my biggest fears. Trying my best to get a job.

This is started on Monday evening, I received a notification about phone interview, to determine whether I’ll be needed to fly over for the second test – technical test or not. If I passed this, it’s like half way to go – for my next job. I was so exciting about it, since I sent many applications yet I didn’t hear any news from them. This was the first reply that I had. I asked my senior who already worked there – I’m doing my homework, finding out necessary information which may help me during the interview, browsing through the company website and reading e-books about preparing to be interviewed.

Everything was fine until Wednesday. Suddenly, my other laptop was not operable. It kept displaying Windows Welcome Screen when my brother wanted to use it in the morning. It was hardly to believe, since earlier I was still be able to use it.

*Darn! This will be the third laptop to fix within the last two months. My mind started to panic, since I haven’t backed up any data there, I have my master degree class material, my resume – basically all my data were there.

My concentration was splitted.

After playing badminton with my ex-colleagues, I started to work on that laptop in the evening. I cannot figure out what’s wrong with it. And luckily, my other laptop has been recovered and I was able to browse thourgh the Internet from my other laptop, try to find out the problem and the solution. It took me close to midnight, till I decided to give it up and go to sleep. Well, learning from the experience, doing something past 10 pm will not bring any good, besides my head was aching probably exhausted after the games in the afternoon.

I remembered very clearly that Thursday is the Day. However some of my head was still thinking about the laptop. I was “still” working on my laptop almost the whole day, then somehow, I chatted with some friends and I was able to back to focus again for the interview.

The interview was a bit stiff in the beginning. I was stiff, since I haven’t use English for conversation close to half a year. Oh man! I felt that i was able to give the explanation as neutral as possible. Then after the interview session which took an hour and so, I felt surge of relief. I went to see a friend to pick a CD which might help me to repair my laptop.

This morning, I mentioned about yesterday interview to my senior there. He asked me how was the interview yesterday,  I told him that I thought I was doing fine. Surprisingly, it was not as smooth as I imagined. Well… I was shocked too, somehow. During the discussion, he gave me lots of advices. I was so sad, because most of what he told me was right.

After the conversation, I contemplated about what am I dreaming and reaching about, do I do what I need to do to get there, or do I really want to get that job badly or is it because of something else?

I know, this is the first interview since I sent those applications, and this is the first response that I received. Yet I was down because I heard the “result”. I felt a bit lost :p I turned on my laptop, browse things randomly, until I read one of my writings – which I wrote last year.

From me to me,

As we known before, life obviously is more than just ticking our to-do list.
Other may see it like that, and I just don’t.
Will it be a problem for me?
My answer is no.
It’s my life, like Bon Jovi’s song.
I could find hundreds of reasons to argue with them,
however discussing it with people who disagree with me is more interesting to do.
The reason is I could see different perspective how people see (their) life.
They might try to make me agree with them, try to intimidate me, or the worst thing is try to scared me off.
That’s okay, just let them be.
It’s a natural thing, I did that too sometimes.
When people are in doubt, they will feel more secure by knowing that somebody is agree with them.
People are afraid to be alone, in unknown situation.
If I were in that situation, what will I do next?
Remember, life is about making choices and this is about you afterall not them anymore,
What kind of choices are you going to make?
What kind of person you wanted to be?
Even, you could choose, how you will react to those?
Angry, happy, disappointed, glad?
And always remember, arguing won’t solve the problem.
You might win the situation, but not the heart.
Your winning in that situation is just temporary satisfaction.

Rich people want a simpler life,
Poor people want a better life,
Young people want to be older and wiser,
Old people want to be younger and sillier,
You see, human being are the most difficult being to be pleased.
We have a lot of things to be owned, achieved, and done.

Be peaceful with yourself!

Do one thing at a time, then do the other thing at the other time.
By doing different things you will not get bored easily.
You always have something to do.
When you eat your favourite dishes, usually you will save the best for the last.
Do that!
Enjoy the “journey”, enjoy every moment when you are doing something.
So, you will remember those as a nice memory.
Or even when you had unpleasant things, just enjoy it because it means you get different things.
By thinking like that, you shift your frequency.
You wouldn’t that pissed anymore.
(from Ajahn Brahm)

How about if you had to juggle with different things in the same time?
The answer is still the same, enjoy it.
See it differently, from different point of view.
See it that, you are capable now, for doing a lot of things.
See it that, you will do things differently now.
Out of your habit.
A challange.
An adventure! Like in RPG.
It’s just the matter how you deal with things,
nothing is related with “yourself” anyway.

The point is, enjoy your life.
Be yourself
which means, don’t let others intimidate or scare you.
Just agree with them if they are trying to do it, it will piss them off. (Ajahn Brahm, again)
which means, do something according to your age.
If you are young, just do like young people do, let it loose, don’t be afraid to try different things.
When you are old, be happy with it, which means you have experience in a lot of things.

So, which kind of life do you want?
Just ask your heart
Listen to it

By being happy with your life, you will influence people to be happy with their life.
Happy is contagiuos!

I feel somewhat better and my spirit lifted-up somehow. I was supposed to have hang outs with old university friends this evening and previously I was thinking to skip it, yet I felt that I need different atmosphere. I joined them and I really felt much better now. Well, at least I can see it clearly what actions should be taken after this.