The other intrusive thought this week came after my encounter with a cat feeder in my area.
She was upset because one of the community cats she feeds looked sick and weak. She told me and another rep from a welfare group that she felt depressed because of this. She then insisted we need to help the cat and conveniently shifted the responsibility to us. She said she did not know how to bring the cat to a clinic. She kept telling us to trap the cat, bring it to the vet, and keep the cat alive.
I told her I did not have the funds. Only then she said she would pay, even if she had to borrow from a moneylender. Then she left. I stayed with the rep to reach out to a trapper and plan the next steps. After we finished and headed home, I ran into the cat feeder again. She told me she had called her daughter about borrowing money. Her daughter told her not to do that and said they would figure out another way.
After that talk, a few things clicked for me.
She has options. She has support. She chooses to shift the work to outsiders. This is weaponized incompetence. And she is also one of the irresponsible feeders who do not clean up after feeding, which adds another layer of emotional pressure.
I helped her twice before. I fundraised for one cat on my own. She did not add any money. When that cat passed, she did not inform me right away. The pattern is clear. She pushes hard, takes help, and disappears when accountability appears.
I felt heartache for the sick cat. At the same time, I felt no joy when she asked for help. I felt forced. I felt drained. That guilt hit me hard. I thought I should step in because the cat needed support.
Here is the truth I reached.
Helping her is not the same as helping the cat.
My limit exists for a reason.
I reached it.
I can still help through neutral paths or through organisations with structure. I do not need to place myself in chaos again. My energy needs boundaries. My heart cares for the cats. My limit protects me from people who use that care against me.
I am learning that both things are true.
I feel sad for the cat.
But I refuse to deal with someone who drains me.