Surgeons are put through rigorous tests just to get in the game. We endure decades of anxiety-provoking acronyms. SAT. MCAT. USMLE. ABSITE. And if we pass that gauntlet, we are rewarded with the need to log 850 surgeries and take an 8-hour multiple choice and oral exam. There is almost no time to take in the victory. Or even a nap. Researchers studied why some people perform better on tests. They found that it’s not necessarily related to intelligence. Some people become anxious during exams and divert mental energy toward anxiety instead of expending it on finding the right answers. Others have a better grasp of how tests work. They use process of elimination and other techniques to help them make better choices. Some people study harder. They start early, make flashcards, rely on repetition to retrieve answers when they need them. Tests don’t always measure how much you know. They measure how well you take tests. And tests certainly don’t measure your worth. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt less when you don’t succeed.
Meredith Grey – S18 E15
What Meredith Grey said resonates well with me. I’m a sore loser when I don’t succeed. I have high expectation about myself. That I need to be able to reach to some level.
I think the saying that the biggest enemy is yourself is true indeed. Sometimes we are harder on ourselves that to other people.
When I was a kid, I like to draw. My mom signed me and my brother up to art class after school. Every time on free style week, my head is blank. While my brother can draw many things. As I grew older, I was attracted to manga (well, it’s till today) and I tried to draw it. But often it didn’t turn out to be as how I pictured it in my mind. So often I just take it that I have no talent.
What’s the relation between drawing and taking test?
Well, because I’m a perfectionist. I have idea what or how things should be, so when it turned out to be something else. I will feel crushed.
Over the years, I learn to negotiate with myself like instead of thinking the goal is to produce a drawing in xxx style, the goal is to produce a drawing which I will like. And knowing that people has different style and it’s okay to be inspired by certain style. If you grind long enough, maybe you will find your own style.
Another example is participating in a team event. As much as I want to win or do my best for the sake of the team, I know that I’m not that sporty and stamina had gone down since pandemic, that’s a fact. So instead, I take it as let’s just participate and enjoy the event. That’s already an up than not joining. Maybe.. there are more sporty team mates who wants to chip in more ..
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