Dare to be different?

Still related to my previous post, about being realist or idealist, now I was asked this question, do I brave enough to be different?

It is my nature to deeply think about something, even I often had some sleepless nights when something important was coming closer and closer. I used not to be like that, but just different symptomps haha :p. When I was junior high and senior high, I tend to be nervous till I can’t think clearly. As I enter my university, I had gastric pain when I was exhausted and stressed. Now, it moves to upper part, my brain. The more I think about something, I can’t release it from my head therefore, I can’t sleep at night.

In relation to it, I had some lately. The reason is simple, I’m taking decision which surprised many people, as if it was’t me. Yes, it’s still related to my resign decision. People think I’m too impulsive. The job market is not in it’s good condition since the economical reces, even after America elected its new president. Looking for a job maybe harder than before.

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Idealist vs realist

Is it okay to be idealist? Or should we be realist? This question often popped out in my head nowadays. There are two recent activities which made that floated in my mind.

The first one is yesterday when I drive my mom for monthly grocceries shopping.

I told her everything about my (previous) working place. I was able to explain the condition in my working place without losing my patience. I was taking my time to describe the condition from one department to another, the work colleagues issues, and many more. In the other hand, my mom was patiently listening to me and giving some comments. She was not judging me whether I was wrong or not yet she was not supporting me. Just listen to me. Thus, somehow, there were some urge inside asking me to tell her about my plan (after I decided to resigned for work).

Well, my parents quite woried about me since I resigned from my work. I didn’t tell them much about it when I decided to do it, yet my future plan. So, it’s quite normal isn’t it?

I’ll explain the second reason before discussing the main topic.

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New year = new resolutions?

First of all, Happy new year!!

It’s been a while haven’t write here, that’s what I thought at first. Feels like want to write my thoughts yet confuse which one should I write – even the first sentence to begin this post. So I guess, I just need to take it slowly and be patience with myself – writing this is kind of helping me straightening things out. It’s not to be read by someone, it’s good though if someone reads it, which means I shared my thoughts with people who read it, but if it’s not, it’s still good for me anyway.

As my title for this post, does new year equal to new resolution? I’m still trying to find the answer for myself. To be honest, sometimes I felt a bit lost. Lost in myself since there are many things that I like to do but, it’s obvious, time is the limit. Therefore, lost here means I even can’t determine what I like to do or what I will become. This is happened since I decided to resign from my working place few months ago.

I worked for a private institute in my hometown as lecturer after my graduation. I was given opportunity because I was already teaching assistant during my final year of study. I worked there because I feel challenged to repair the system as I felt that the system was calling me. Honestly, the system was not so justified for us students even since I was student there. Therefore I felt that this might be my chance to do something useful, for the place where I learn and grow. After working there for 1.5 years, I was given opportunity to study abroad by scholarship. I learned many new things and able to see differently. Living in a new culture was hell of exciting experience for me and somehow, it influenced me in terms how I think and act. Finishing the study for 1.5 years, I returned to my campus as I promised before.

However, things are not the same anymore. Not only me – who changes, but also the campus. Being away for a while, not interacting with people inside it for sometime were quite a surprise for me. I can see a lot of things in my “old” workplace that I dislike but I don’t have choices or able to do something about it.  It’s more like “take it” or “leave it” world.

Before returning to that place, I was preparing myself to face some changes. However, it wasn’t well prepared, or at least, my effort wasn’t paid off. I still quite surprised with the changes, or more likely I can’t take it anymore.

Now, when I’m looking back what happened few months ago, I still able to feel the pain and the stress. It also feels like I’m having minor trauma about that place.

Now, when I have lots of free time, I let myself has a peace moment with me. Asking what I would like to do in this year, what I would like to achieve, what dreams that I’d like to follow and many other questions.

So, I guess, I’m hoping that I will be able to fulfill my dreams or maybe before that, I will be able to find “me”. The “me” that feels comfortable without thinking what others will say about “me”. I won’t add something sophisticated to be my new year resolution. That’s my 2009 resolution.

Do your job with all your heart or do not

If you were asked, which one do you choose do your work as it is, or do it whole-heartedly. Let’s say, that your working hour is from 8-5, will you or will you not work overtime if you still have some works to do?
This is the question that floating in my mind recently. Well, it’s quite obvious that when you’re into something 24 hours seems not enough, isn’t?

Okay let’s begin the story with what happens in my work place.
It’s a private institute which specialized in engineering field. I don’t know whether it’s typical of “geek” or what, not only the students but also the lecturers seem having difficulties to work in team. What makes working together as a team more difficult is the stubbornness, and unwilling to negotiate or open to other possibility. That’s classic.
Recently, I was working on few events simultaneously. Like the old saying, preparation requires all the hard work rather than the real event takes place. So, I did all my best so that the event can go well.

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Work harassment! I’m striking a complaint. Haha 😀

I was snowed by quite a lot of work since my second week settlement which is two months ago. My peace and relax live was robbed by the harshness of working life. I’m not trying to exaggerate my situation.

At first, I was quite happy since I didn’t have much things to do, although with a little bit of confusion.
I had left my work place for one-and-a-half year to finish my master degree. I left my position, assigned all my previous duty to successors, studied whole-heartedly (some time to play around of course 😉 ) and returned to the same place, without a post.

It took me the whole first month to adapt to the new staffs appointed by my boss.
So, what I did were a little helping hand here and there.

Continue reading “Pride”

A Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

I read this story from a mailist quite sometimes ago, which I forgot which mailist and who posted it.

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided,

‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.  The sand is everything else—the small stuff.’

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.  Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked.  It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

The Emperor’s Three Question

The first time I listen the story is from Ajahn Brahm podcast (http://www.bswa.org), then I also found this story from his book “Opening the Door for Your Heart”.

Once upon a time there was a young emperor who ask questions to his teachers. None of them could give the young emperor good answers.
His three questions were:
1. When is the most important time?
2. Who is the most important person?
3. What is the most important thing to do?

Therefore the emperor seeks the answer by himself, wandering and experiencing life.

Your guess?

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