Learning my lesson – keeping my ego at the bay

Lately, I was so stressed, I didn’t know what made me stress  and I was quite desperate to find out what made me stress.

Is it my work load? Work has been busy as always, writing code, designing system, debugging and testing, you name it. But I believe that I’m still coping it.

Is it my schedule? I schedule myself to exercise on even days, Tue-Thurs-Sat. It was just started for the last three weeks. Is the schedule too rush for me? I don’t think so. When I tried to skip the exercise part, I feel that my whole body was even more tired.

Is it my hobbies? I admit that I like to play games more often than I used to be. I play games on the browser as well as on iPhone. But, it seems this habit happened because I was so desperate to find out what made me feel stress.

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It is never too late to start anew

Yes! Starting something new does not recognize “late” in its dictionary. But, why most of us keep delaying ourselves on doing something new? Before telling my own experience, I would like to share a story inspired from my daily life (I changed the name of subjects to keep it anonymous) with a little bit modification.

Meet Mandy, she is charming, cheerful, energetic and she do not really like quiet environment. She shares a flat with her friends, Maria and Michelle. Most of the time when she saw Michelle is doing something in her room, she will ask her what she was doing, and why she was so quiet. Michelle told her that she works on her personal projects. (That question was the ice breaker only though) Then she kept talking that how bored she was.

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On one step closer to our dream

Below is the dialogue excerpt between Ria Torres and Dr. Cal Lightman from one of the “Lie to Me” episodes I watched,

Lightman (L): Look, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
Torres (T): I am grown-up.
(L): Terrific. what are you?
(T): I’m–i’m a–
(L): You’re on your way to becoming one of the world’s leading experts in deception. But up here, you’re still a baggage screener at the airport. Till you change that, you’ll always think you’re not ready.

How often we’ve been in similar situation like Torres?

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Lessons from life

I feared being alone
until I learned to like myself.

I feared failure
until I realized that I only fail when I don’t try.

I feared success
until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.

I feared people’s opinions
until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.

I feared rejection
until I learned to have faith in myself.

I feared pain
until I learned that it’s necessary for growth.

I feared the truth
until I saw the ugliness in lies.

I feared life
until I experienced its beauty.

I feared death
until I realized that it’s not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny
until I realized that I had the power to change my life.

I feared hate
until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.

I feared love
until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
until I learned how to laugh at myself.

I feared growing old
until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.

I feared the future
until I realized that life just kept getting better.

I feared the past
until I realized that it could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
until I saw the beauty of the starlight.

I feared the light
until I learned that the truth would give me strength.

I feared change
until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.


On setting a limit

I like one of the sport shoe commercial tag line, “Nothing is impossible. Impossible is nothing”. The tag line has been few years back though, I’m sure you know or ever heard about it.

First of all, the story I wrote is for sharing purpose which inspired by my own situations.

I’m motivated by the tag line many times but for this time, I need to see the bigger picture of it.

Let’s say that you work on a specific project, your own. For me, I work as web developer in my current office. Sometimes on the other department in your office has lots of projects which due almost in the same time, it was overwhelmed and had a very tight deadline. So, for staff who responsible internally-not dealing with clients-will be assigned to help the project so that deadline can be met. Regardless your initial job scope.

However, though you are assigned “urgent” projects with tight deadline, you will still have your own project deadline. Ha! Interesting huh? Or maybe been this kind of situation before?

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On getting what we are thinking about

In other words, on making our dreams come true, or getting what we want, or the point is we want something to be happened like we wanted to be. We often think that “aw!, that’s too much for me”, or “well, sounds/looks difficult”, or “I’ll try it when I’m ready.” It happens to me most of the times, and I believe what happened to most of us too, we tend to slack off, put it off until the last minute, or get pumped in the beginning and nothing happens after that.

When this happens to me, for instance I want to be able to swim, instead of taking lessons or going for swimming with friends, I keep rejecting my friends when they ask me for swimming. The reasons were I can’t swim, what am I supposed to do when you’re swimming, and many more crap reasons (I can say those were really crap reasons ;)). Well, you may say that, swimming doesn’t count, it’s not serious, not some kind of life achievement or special dream everyone wanted.

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On shortening words

Some questions to ponder:

  1. When you’re using your mobile phone, do you prefer texting or making a call?
  2. When you’re online, how do you usually type your conversation? Do you use “thx”, “btw”, “asap”, “fyi”, “lol” and many other often?
  3. Do you use number to replace certain texts, for instance 4 -> for, 2 -> to?
  4. Do you active participant in certain forums?

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