When will I be happy?

Are you happy right now?
Have you ever ask yourself, what are the things that make you happy?
Have you obtain those things which make you happy? Or are you still looking for it?
And, will you still be happy, if it’s gone?

I’m reading a manga, Vagabond by Takehiko Inoue, which a fiction about Miyamoto Musashi life based on the historical novel by Yoshikawa Eiji. Musashi grows up by wanting to achieve one thing. He wants to be acknowledged as the invincible one under the sun, which means the number one. When he was a kid, he lived with his dad, an influential warrior who always looked down at him. So, he wants to prove what his worth to his dad.

Even though it’s a fiction, don’t you think that the situation is quite common? Which is happened to us or maybe to our friend?

We tried so hard to prove something or to achieve something. It could be for ourselves, our parents or society. We fight, we injured in the “battle”, recuperate, and apparently, we will involve in another “battle”. Although the thing we fight for maybe change from time to time during different phases in our life. For example, we want to score well at school when we are studying. Then when we are graduated and started the working life, we want to prove to our boss that we are valuable.

Reading Musashi’s story made me realise that it’s so easy to be deluded or to be trapped into a endless circle. That we will never reach the end of it. After A, I’ll be happy. But then what’s next? After that, what’s next?

I asked myself from time to time, why I move from one “battle” to another? Do I really crave to prove my existence? Does this accomplishment just an ego? Or simply part of life that everyone must go through? Maybe, when we are young, we are full of energy (some call it youth energy). When we crave for “something” so we will do whatever we can to get “it”.

Right now, I decided not to think about it too much. I think, it may take a while to reach a level which we can see that sometimes what we fight for is very superficial or silly. But, that’s okay. You can’t always have a perfect adventure.. A lil turn will make it more interesting.

So when I looked back recently, there are times when I took small issues too seriously, working hard for it, not only once but many times. But that makes my adventure has unique flavour 🙂

So, are you pursuing things at this moment? And why do you pursue it?