Do you feel your stomach churn before your exam? Or before you have your big gig? Well, I do.

Thanks to a friend of mine; talking to him yesterday made me re-think the whole big picture, or should I say, my big picture.

Let’s go back to the nerveousness, most of the time before I had school presentation, exams, or meeting clients, or even teaching, I was nervous.
(some of my friends don’t believe it when I said so)

As I grow up and had my self talk moments, I can list the reasons:

1. I’m a perfectionist. I like to get the best result. I want to give the best to others. (Another friend told me, sometimes I think too far and too much; because the other party don’t need it.)
2. I’m a controller. I like to plan and I like to see things work like my scenario. Too bad life is not like that.
3. I think too much what would other will say or think about me or my work.

So, the question I like to ask myself is. What am I going to do from this point? Do I just give up? Or do I want to change it?

There is a good quote that I read from a book titled “Personality Plus“,

we can’t change the rock, but we can change the shape.

When I was a kid, I was worried that I didn’t score well on my exams. When I was a student, I was nervous the morning I was about to have exams. When I was a lecturer, I was scared that I would become a fail lecturer.

I feel that I tend to worry a lot in my life. The main cause of my worry or nervous is, to pass a barrier or to jump out a barrier which is not even exist in reality but inside my mind. I tend to expect high of myself.

Later, I learn one important skill, compromising.

Compromising can balance out with our other traits, and more importantly, we enjoy the experience more than before. Or at least, it works for me