on recent depression

( ̄へ ̄) {a little confession note to myself for what happened this week}

(´~`) むにゃむにゃ

Blame it to lack of sleep,

I felt have no energy left to face the day. I don’t have motivation at all since the morning I wake up. Why and why is the question I like to ask myself. On my effort to find out the answer, I even feel more depressed.

( ̄へ ̄)

Blame it to others behavior,

I was easily fumed or irritated by what my so-called friends do. Here are some of the examples which made me hate or angry to the other party. First, by making me feel that I’m the biggest idiot who patiently draw and color while the person’s effort is “only” googling and combining the game engine then leads to the second thing which is ruining my beautifully-written-and-structured-library-according-to-my-standard when that person combined those. Third, making me played guess-what-i-am-trying-to-say by pointing here and there and mumbling in the morning, sorry my brain took it as compiled error. …

(*´ο`*)=3 はふぅん

Blame it to the bad Internet connection,

I felt so unproductive this week. I barely do my main task. (sorry boss) Last week work rally is flatted me out, really. I don’t have what-people-called-as-the inspiration to do my work, although I know that inspiration is a term closely associated with artists or at least that’s what I perceived from watching movies. And being web developer, the Internet is the artery of my work. The connection was pretty bad, so I barely can work.

ε-(´・`) フー

Blame it to iron deficiency,

From what I read on a newspaper, lack of iron can make one feels weak, tired and many more. When I know this, I remembered my busy weekend. Okay, I’m not taking care of myself, by not having proper meal to replenish my energy.

( ̄ー ̄)ニヤリ

Okay, enough of the confession.

To wrap up, this week made me learn something which is I need to find reasons behind anything that happened to me and, something or someone to blame to when there is something wrong with me. I don’t really vent my anger to others easily (or at least that’s how I feel) and tend to contemplate them by myself. A friend told me not to become too independent which could lead to anti-social behavior; should trust what-we-call-friend more because that’s what friends are for (if they were objected to it just remember that they are human too) and the other party may give us solutions. Today, as I feel much better, I can think clearly, the long-lost inspiration is back again □_ヾ(・_・ )カタカタ (yeah rite!) I found that actually I don’t need to fight that hard to make me feel better. I just need to be more open when I’m experiencing this, anyway we need those to grow, as someone like to say it as growing pains. (   ̄)y―oo0O0O〇○** パチン

So, I should take it easy instead of rebelling or fighting against them.

PS: but blame no to me please \(--)/ マイッタ hahahaha