If someone asked me what were my activities for the whole day, then I may be confused about the answer. Why?
Starts with my morning routine, woke up, washed my face and my mouth, drank some water, turned on TV, watched “Early Edition” back-to-back with “The Guardian”, had my breakfast. My mom asked me to be alert if there is someone deliver the food, which means I need to pick it and pay it. I was thinking to go swimming too after finishing my series. I bought 10 swimming vouchers quite while ago and I still have 5 vouchers whereas I will leave to Singapore this Friday. I waited the delivery until my series ended, yet the delivery has not come. Since my mom was on her morning meditation, I can’t just leave like that. I decided to wait until the delivery came. That time was already close to 8.30 in the morning. Then somehow, I just told myself not to force to swim since I would be playing badminton in the afternoon with my ex-colleagues anyway. Otherwise I might be exhausted :p
I went to my campus with my brother, to meet with friends. Arriving in my friend’s office, he asked me to help him to look for some songs from the Internet, since he just bought a car which has USB mp3 plug and he wanted to fill his 2GB USB with as many songs possible. Having lunch with some collegues, doing some other errands of my collagues then (I thought) playing badminton after we arrived at campus. However, there wasn’t any news from badminton people at all.
Then, basically I just keep helping my friend to find songs that he wanted.
In the end, when I reached home, I felt I didn’t do anything useful for me. I didn’t apply jobs, I didn’t study something, I didn’t exercise, .. Somehow I felt strange.
Out of nowhere, I remembered Ajahn Brahm talks,
When there is nothing to do, do nothing
When I heard it, I thought “it wouldn’t be that difficult, would it?” but I guess, it is difficult. It’s normal for people to be busy, to have something to do for each day, therefore doing nothing is so difficult. It’s difficult to sit still, or, know when to sit still, like what Ajahn Brahm said.
Maybe, I was used to be so busy, that I felt that I need to do this and that each day therefore I never felt peace or to enjoy peace. Busy is not happened in activites but also in my mind. Since I don’t have any activities or, you may say, jobless, my mind has been so active. Thinking about many things, I’ve been changing seats from driver to pessenger. I have opportunities to observe more things that I usually passed. I pay more attention to the detail. Like how people do their job, how I live my life, how my friend treat others, how I relate myself to them, and many more.
やっぱり！I can’t sit still though I’m jobless. >.<
But, I feel that this is a phase that I must go through. To find more about life, and to learn more. I guess the challenge would be knowing how to sit still and know when to stop, since there are many things to do, or to achieve in this world.
I’ll end this topic up to here though that there are many things to be discussed or expanded. Maybe I’ll continue it some other time
Enjoy the life.